I’m trying to remember exactly how many of these online blogs that I created are floating around in cyberspace. Who knows, I did however find the very first blog I ever had. Feeling so nostalgic right now, I decided to start reading random posts.
Apparently, on December 2th, 2005, I was feeling quite similar to the way I am this very second. Depressed with no explanation. Okay, that’s lying. I have numerous explanations, I just wish I had explanation to the copious amount of tears that I’ve shed in the last three days or so. I also found a poem that I want to transfer here. I feel the need to preserve my writings. Most just sum up my angsty high school self, but it was still me. I didn’t like me back then, but I loved me enough to keep pushing to get to where I am today. I liked to think that I hated life, but I know I secretly just desired a better one..I’m beginning to accept the life I have and live it rightfully.
“Emptiness longs to be full. He cries with the open and hides in the secretive. He hovers over the mourning in their time of bereavement. He doesn’t mean to cause bad feelings in people; he’s just a symptom. A symptom of something bigger. Emptiness is larger than a mundane definition. Even Webster would fail trying to describe him in simple words. He is a substitute. He takes the place of loved ones who have left other people alone to deal with pain. He skips in the sun, and dances in the rain. He watches people cry useless tears of things that are far from their reach. Emptiness prays for Hope. Hope chooses to be introverted until she is sure she has what she wants. Emptiness swims with hope and sinks with fear. Fear and Emptiness together cause a disturbance. Do not disturb the fearful and empty. Emptiness hides inside of people who are lacking love. He breaks the heart and makes the body immobile. He tends to slow down the world, causing people to barely survive. He causes people heads to slowly look towards the ground with tears not to far gone. Emptiness watches the knees of so many shake in anticipation of wanting to be held. He is the reason for the tired knees of those who continue to pray for Hope. The reason for the pounding headaches of those who continue to cry out for something better. The reason for so many inevitable hard days, months, years…The world cries a little and dies a little more all the while screaming and cursing Emptiness to the point where they no longer have a voice, to the point where they just give…up?”
**Written in Honor English 3. I loved that class…even though I didn’t pass it, it wasn’t because I was horrible at english, but more so because I quit doing the work. I was numb to success.
Okay, so apparently I got lost with all my nostalgia and surfing the internet, I forgot I was updating. It’s quite late now..so until next time,
Fin.
I’m pretty excited to try them for the first time!
